That Night When I Gave In

Nung humiga ka sa linya ng upuan sa tabi ko,

Gusto kong hawiin ang buhok mo, halikan ka sa noo at sabihing...

"Akin ka na lang..."

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I guess, bottling up emotions is really bad. I knew it hurt badly, so badly I almost cried. But I didn't. And now sick, maybe because all those feelings got capped inside. And it's bad.

The Day I Said I Give Up on Love

I couldn't really remember when exactly was that. I just knew, there was that day, when I realized I that I suck at love forever &, subsequently, that I'll never be good at it. Hence, I decided to just give up on love... the waiting, the looking, the trying, the hoping, the hurting.

It's sad, I know. But I think, coming to terms w/ this realization saves me from more intense form of sadness & even pain, for most of the time.

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This, by the way, is my comeback post. Ahaha... It has been almost 2 months since my last.

Oh well... 

Things I Want to Do With You

1. Go to Sagada

2. Ride a ferriswheel 

3. Watch fireworks

4. Watch a meteor shower

5. Watch my most favorite chick flicks

6. Lay on the beach

7. Eat tons of cakes, ice cream & chocolates

8. Eat taho

9. Attend & watch church weddings of random people

10. Go to Sunday mass

A hopeless romantic. I guess that's what I'll always be.

(Weird) Dreams

About two nights ago, I had a weird-but-not-really-that-weird dream.


In that dream, I was at Sir Noel's place, alongside other friends. It was not in CDV though, a different one. There was a party of sorts, or probably, just a simple get-together that turned into a party because the people are so loud & excited about each other. And Sir Noel's fine; he claims he's completely healed. And his bald head, he tried to cover w/ a turban. So gay! Ahaha...


And on one of the walls of place was a frame which has a list of names & some pictures on it. As I went closer to look at it, I saw a familiar face - mine, my picture! Oh! On top of the frame, it says - 'University of the Philippines Law School Merit Scholars.' Bwahaha! Merit scholars?! Parang Ateneo?! Ahaha...


So yeah, it was weird 'cause Sir Noel's wearing a turban & there's Merit Scholarship in UP. Well, I guess dreams will always be weird. But you know what they say about dreams, that they reflect your inner-most desires.

Ano nga kaya?

Lagi kong naiisip, lalo na kapag napapadpad ako sa UP - Ano kayang nangyari sa akin kung sa UP ako nag-aral at hindi sa Ateneo?

Naisip ko naman 'to nu'ng isang gabi matapos kong magpunta sa UP Fair. Unang beses ko! Masaya kase sobrang ibang environment kaysa sa Ateneo. 'Yung host ng program, diretsong nasasabi 'yung 'sex' at 'malibog.' Kung sa Ateneo 'yun, lagot siya sa ADSA panigurado.

Sobrang saya ko na mas pinili ko ang Ateneo. Ang daming bagay na sigurado akong hindi ko mararanasan kung hindi ako sa Ateneo nag-aral. Marami akong minamahal ngayon na hindi ko sana nakilala kung sa UP ako nagpunta. Pero nandu'n pa rin eh, ano kaya pakiramdam kung naging 'Isko/Iska' ako at hindi isang 'True Blue?'

Ngayon, may bagong pagkakataon na makapag-aral ako sa UP. Pero sana ganu'n kadali magdesisyon. Sana p'de ko na lang sabihin na, 'Sige, go na! Para malaman ko na talaga ang pakiramdam.' Pero hindi ganu'n kadali eh. Mahaba-habang pag-iisip 'to. Mahaba & madugong pag-iisip. Haay.

Mahirap ding maging lubos & hayag na masaya. Sana, lahat na lang kami pumasa. Ganu'n pa man, sobra-sobrang nagpapasalamat pa rin ako. Maraming, maraming salamat Po! :)

Thank You (01222010)

It's been a long time since my last post. And I think it's good to make this one about thanking.

1. Thanks for my old job. I really enjoyed it. It made me realize that kids are just sooo much fun to be with. I'll miss them so much.:(

2. Thanks for my new job. It was my first day today & it went well, quite good in fact. I hope I'd do well in this job 'cause I feel like this would determine my future.

3. Thanks for making me move on from illusions & false beliefs. Thanks. :)

The next few days, I predict, would be stressful physically & emotionally. It'd ba a time for confronting concerns, standing for what you beLEIve in, & hoping for better things to come. 

Sa 2010

... na hudyat ng mga bagong pakikipagsapalaran & mga bagong simula.


... na magiging bagong pagkakataon para mabuhay, magmahal & matuto.


To happiness & beyond!